Mitsurugi's Bad Day
by TheBlackRaveness
Summary: This all starts out with a little innocent letter from a stalker (ME ::cough::) and it leads into a turn of crap events that pretty much sucks for the ronin. CrossOver with multiple games
1. The Scary Beginning

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Namco, Capcom, Squarsoft, and Vampire Hunter D characters, though I would love to own the men that will be mentioned. MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

After the production of Soul Calibur, Mitsurugi had about enough with the cameraman. With the prissy attitude going, Mitsurugi didn't need to be told how to do his own thing. He was a frickin' samurai for Hyne's sake! He wasn't an acrobat. "More flips! Roll more! Stretch your leg above your head! Now to a split in mid air matrix style, and pat your ass, and wink at the camera. Be sexy Mitsurugi! COME ON! FLIRT!" Let's just say that the cameraman won't be coming back to film anytime soon, and has gone on a permanent vacation worm watching underground in a rather…cozy box. Then the annoying little children bothering him constantly while he was relaxing in his trailer. Let's just say Mitsurugi has had enough. He left his trailer in his alternate outfit…I mean his more casual Kimono that covered only the upper half of his chest, and allowed the world to see the sexy man he is. With his Shishi-Oh in its sheath by his side, he set out to go find a forest, preferably with a lake too. 

The crumpling of paper within his sleeve made him come to a halt. Reaching in, he pulled out a black envelope with a golden seal. He opened it carefully as if it were to explode. Neatly folded inside was a letter, he began to read aloud. 

"Mitsurugi,

I've wanted you since I first set my eyes on you. Before the fame, before the fortune, when you were auditioning for Soul Calibur. Or rather when you were ripped away from your Wartime Age by money starved producers, and forced to work with others from different time periods or of different worlds. I've read about you in history books, and saw painted pictures of you within them. I fell in-love with you, ever since I started reading up on Japan's history one year ago. If I ever meet you, I'd tear off your…" Mitsurugi trailed off, his eyes growing wide. His face began to fluster as his gaze darted all around, paranoid. "Your True Love, Cynthia." He finished the letter, and dropped it to the ground. He began to walk briskly to the suddenly appearing forest, not caring how it got there, he began to ran. He ran for his life into the shelter of the forest. Finding himself at a beautiful lake with a breath taking waterfall, he sat down, placing his sheathed sword by his side. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, he began to meditate. Get his mind off the lawsuits, whatever those were, get his mind off the annoying cast members, and get his mind off of the thirtieth "love" letter from the same person in four days.

He didn't even know why he stayed at the trailer, maybe it was because he was from a wartime age, and knew nothing outside of producing. Either way, he had a stalker, and cast members bothering him constantly. Then those things with leather bound boxes with rare white paper inside with writing, talking about charges being pressed against him for something about that cameraman. "HI MITSY!" A very annoying shrill girl voice screamed from behind him.

"What now Xianghua? Haven't you bothered me enough?" He snarled, turning around to face the very much naked girl. "What are you doing?" He backed up slowly as the sixteen-year-old advanced towards him, trying to seduce him with a very ostentatious shaking of the hips as she walked.

"Mitsy…I have a secret." She giggled seductively, but Mitsurugi wasn't convinced.

"Yeah, and I'm disturbed. I'm nine years older than you, don't you already have a boyfriend?" He massaged his temples, annoyed with the girl's perkiness.

"Yeah, and I'm perfectly fine with it." A man in a blinding white bondage outfit came crawling from the shadows.

"Voldo, are those dildos instead of your usual claw things?" Mitsurugi shielded his eyes from the rather disgusting older man. 

"We want you Mitsurugi. We decided that we want you to be our third partner when we have mad pig sex in the mud outside of the studios where Lizardman likes to watch." Xianghua nodded feverishly, and ran over to kiss bondage boy.

"Disgusting. Begone, before I have to kill you." Mitsurugi threatened unsheathing his Shishi-Oh.

"Oh, feisty. He likes being rough!" Voldo hissed, and leaped onto Mitsurugi grinding himself against the poor samurai.

"GET OFF ME WHITE ASS!" Mitsurugi ran his blade through Voldo, before bondage boy could do any more harm. A loud wail came from the older man as he jumped of, blood staining his white outfit. Instantaneously the gaping wound healed.

"That won't kill him, my sex kitten." Xianghua purred, scampering up to Mitsurugi petting the top of his head. He slapped her hand away that tried to grab his very precious area. "Oh I like it rough." Xianghua straddled him, and began to scream and claw his face. "OH MITSURUGI! HARDER BABY! HARDER!" She moaned as he threw wild punches at her.

"RAPE!" Mitsurugi cried out, very much scared for his manhood and his sanity. He thrusting his sword into Xianghua's heart. "The name's Mitsurugi, don't you forget it!" He palmed her in the face, watching the girl fly into Voldo.

"My lover…" She reached up for one of Voldo's dildo fingers. "You must go on without me." Xianghua slowly faded from view, going back to whatever time period she was from. Mitsurugi's eyes grew wide, Xianghua was impaled on his sword and took it with her! He was defenseless.

"Lover boy…" Voldo hissed, creeping closer to the stunned samurai.

"Get away from me, you freak!" Mitsurugi slapped away the invading object going towards his mouth. Voldo attempted once more, only for the dildo finger to be grabbed my Mitsurugi. "NO MORE!" He snapped it in half, and a cry erupted from Voldo's lips. The wound on his stomach reopened and began to bleed.

"HOW COULD YOU?" Voldo charged weakly, Mitsurugi just grabbed another one of the dildo fingers and snapped it in half. Voldo fell to the ground his one arm broken. He wept as Mitsurugi broke each one in half, and stopped before he broke the last one.

"I said no. Why aren't you dead yet?" Mitsurugi kicked the now red bondage boy, and stared at the broken and deformed body of Voldo. He grabbed the last one and snapped it in half. Voldo's head exploded, condoms flying everywhere instead of brains. He too faded from view. Mitsurugi could tell this was the beginning of a bad day.


	2. The Horrible End

Disclaimer: If you read the previous chapter's disclaimer you would know.

Mitsurugi went back to meditating, throwing the packs of condoms far off into the distance. His day couldn't get any worse, he just survived an attempted rape. Another crinkling of paper was heard, again Mitsurugi reached into his sleeve to pull out a black envelope with a gold seal. He ripped the letter open and read it. 

"Mitsurugi, 

I'm disappointed in you, my love. You threw my letter to the ground and left it all by its lonely self. I saw you fight off Xianghua and Voldo and I congratulate you. You only make me want you more, with your bad ass strong self. I only want to ravage your…" Mitsurugi trailed off again, he was horrified of this Cynthia girl. He felt a presence behind him, he turned to see a beautiful woman there. Her shoulder length ebony hair flitted in the wind, as the sun reflected off her natural brown highlights. Her creamy chocolate brown eyes met his, and a smile played on her face. A white halo glowed around her body as she advanced towards him. A heavenly voice that sounded so far away spoke to him in his mind. The beautiful figure just standing there.

"Mitsurugi…Come with me Mitsurugi. Be with me, forever." The voice spoke, as the angelic woman floated gracefully to him. Her arms opened wide, Mitsurugi ran right into them. The world rushed passed them and in a blink of an eye he was in a cold dimly lit concrete room, with bars. A voice cackled, as the stunned samurai glanced at all the other occupants…that seemed to be male. "I've got you my sexy love!" A obese tall woman walked in front of the cramped cell, her ebony black hair not flitting in the wind anymore, and her voice deep and horrifying. 

"Let me out of here!" Mitsurugi clutched the bars and shook them.

"You won't get any where." The guys responded in unison…hopeless.

"Why not?"

"We've all tried…she'd only catch you and punish you." A man stepped forward with a scar across his right eye, he was wearing darkly tinted sunglasses, a black shirt, black pants, and metal plated boots. "She'll make you spend the night in her chambers. It's up to her what happens. With me…I…" He broke down crying, another man rushing up to him, comforting the crying man. "I had to listen to hours of her fantasies about me. What she would do to me…what she did to me. I was blind folded and stripped…she made me name all the aeons, and say her name. If I did it to slowly she would…she would…I can't go on!" He sobbed into the taller man's shoulder.

"It's okay, Auron, calm down." A soft but menacing voice cooed, "We've all been there."

"How'd you all end up here?" Mitsurugi watched warily as the fat woman left them alone.

"Auron here, two of the people from the cast of Final Fantasy X, Rikku and Wakka attacked him. They tried to rape him with a blitzball. Auron killed them…then Cynthia came along, posing as a beautiful woman no man can resist. He ended up here." The man pat Auron's shoulder, and tucked his dirty silver hair back behind his ear. "I'm Sephiroth. Two people from the cast of Final Fantasy VII, attacked me the same way. It was Barret and Yuffie. Barret and his gun…that gun…But I was with Cloud and Vincent…They tried to rape us all…" Sephiroth pointed to a man in red, and a bruised spikey haired blonde, cowering in a corner. "Next thing we knew…all three of us ended up here." Sephiroth heaved a sigh as Auron settled down.

"Whatever, it isn't as bad as what happened to us." Two men stood from the small cot, with matching scars across their face. "I'm Seifer, this is my friend Squall. Selphie, Rinoa, Irvine and Cid, tried to rape us at the training center. You see our world is real at least..." Seifer snarled at the other people.

"OH SHUT UP! Bitch, bitch, bitch!" A blonde man stepped from the corner of the cell, fixing his sunglasses. "I'm Albert Wesker, I work for Umbrella. I was in Raccoon City trying to kill some of my co-workers, when three beta hunters and four lickers appeared out of no where and tried to rape me! Then that stupid genderless zombie had to try to join in on the action!"

"What the hell just happened?" Suddenly a man appeared, looking remarkably like Squall. "Ivy was trying to use that dominatrix move on me, and Astaroth was trying to shove the butt of his axe up my ass and…I ended up here."

"KILIK! OH GOD SOMEONE I KNOW!" Mitsurugi ran to him, "These people suffered the same fate as us. By that psycho woman!"

"Cynthia?" Kilik questioned, everyone nodded.

"Hey does anyone want to listen to my story?" Seifer bitched, everyone shook their head no and punched him.

"I have an idea." A man stepped from shadows, a big black pointy hat, and giant ass black cloak. "I am D, a dunpeal…I say we all try to break out at the same time…she can't control us all. Can she?" His fangs where bared as he spoke, everyone nodded.

Together all the men began to kick and body slam the flimsy bars. Together they succeeded, and began to run for their lives. They were swept away in a gust of wind, and into a large bedroom chamber. "SEYMOUR'S BEDROOM!" Auron cried, and latched onto Sephiroth crying. 

"Silence! I see you all tried to leave me." A voice regaled within their heads. "I understand…" the fat woman appeared before them transparently. She was crying. "No one, ever wants to be with me." She sniffled, then a glimmer of evil flashed in her hideous face. "As your punishment…" With a flick of her wrist, all the men were naked, immediately Auron let go of Sephiroth and began to back away. "You shall be naked and condemned to this awful bedroom, with no way out. I am the psychotic woman, and the AUTHOR of this story. Without me, you wouldn't exist." She hung herself, and began to die slowly before them. "You'll have to see my obese body death spasm, and when I die and my bowels relax, you'll be stuck smelling my human waste. Without me this story wouldn't have an…" She died.


End file.
